I can't put into words what happened today. An ending I wasn't expecting, but new freedom that can emerge from starting over. I have a lot of work to do. I know that I want to move on and with a vision I have been cultivating for sometime. All my own. It's exciting.
Making : This cowl for me, and for others for Christmas (if I get my act together). Cooking : My famous fried chicken. Drinking : Stowaway IPA. Reading: Little House in the Big Woods (because Mike and Bea finished it without me). Wanting: To do yoga everyday. Looking: At how pretty our Christmas tree looks in our living room. Playing: Deerhunter, Pinback, and Tallest Man on Earth. Wasting: A little time watching House Hunters International. Sewing: Nothing. Wishing: For very little. I feel like my wishes have come true. Enjoying: How nice everyone is here. Waiting: To see Julia. Three more weeks! Liking: The sound of rain on the skylights. Wondering: What that little blue bird is called? Loving: Our new bedroom. It is a simple and relaxing sanctuary. I LOVE it. Hoping: I can still keep up with all our old friends in the city. I miss them so much. Marvelling: At how easily my girls transitioned into their new home. Needing: To cut back on the beer, butter, and bread. I am getting a happy-belly, but my pants don't like it so much. Smelling: Freshly made Pumpkin Bread. Wearing: A maxi dress with a cardigan, and my slippers. Following: Shelby's move to Maine on FB and her awesome tumblr: Logan Everyday Noticing: The first siren since we left Boston (it has only taken us a week and a half versus hourly). Knowing: This year of "Three" isn't going to be easy for Josie or I. Thinking: How awesome it is the The Barbarian Group is ten-years old! Congratulations! Bookmarking: Flash diffusers on B&H. Opening: Christmas gifts arriving in the mail, ready to be wrapped. Giggling: At The Inbetweeners.
I would often see this album in my parent's collection and be stumped by it. I was never sure what it meant to say to me. The other albums all had great, quick, sexy stories. Instant. And this album was none of those things. It didn't bore me, so much as confuse me.
Now, no longer eight or nine, I listen to this album. I think about George in the Beatles or The Traveling Wilbury's, and I can say, without hesitation, he is my favorite.
I'm still here. I have been very busy. Houses have sold. Houses have been bought. Homeschooling was happening. Then it was not. Friends eloped. Photography jobs were done. We traveled a bit. Got sick. Got well. Did some yoga, though not enough. Watched it snow in October. Have been barefoot in November. Shared a sacred place with some very special people. I feel like I have either been shooting for days on end or not shooting at all. There hasn't been a ton of personal work lately. Too much packing to do. Lots of memory gathering too. So for right now, tonight (hi, Laura), I'll post a quick photo of a great memory. Get ready for the onslaught as this move happens. Didn't you know how nostaligic I can get? Oh, then you are in for a ride.
“What nobody tells people who are beginners — and I really wish someone had told this to me . . . is that all of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, and it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not.
But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase. They quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know it’s normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story.
It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.” -Ira Glass
So I took my camera out, which I have been kind of ignoring lately. Two tomatoes from our garden were sitting in the pantry window. I thought I would recreate a photo my parents had in our house while growing up, a photo my dad took of several tomatoes ripening on a rainy windowsill. Well, if you didn't know it by now, I can hardly leave the room for two minutes without my two little shadows following right behind me. And it seems that for the first time ever, they noticed the stained glass hanging from the window in there (also, by my dad). So between Ira Glass and Jonathan Harris's project I posted about earlier, I got snapping again.
I cancelled all our plans. I didn't clean the house, like I thought I would. Instead, we ate a dozen ice pops and I set up our giant kiddie pool. We were all very pleased with the results. I'll clean the house some other day.
Making : A knit dress for Josie (still) Cooking : Quesadillas Drinking : Water Reading: Yoga: The Spirit and Practice of Moving Into Stillness Wanting: To do yoga everyday Looking: At how green everything is outside during this rainstorm Playing: Adele's 21 over and over Wasting: Very little, thank you very much. Sewing: Hmmmm . . . Maybe some sewing classes at the Elliot School next fall? Wishing: I knew what school Bea was going to go to next year Enjoying: The feel of sand and salt water on my skin Waiting: For Mike to finish putting the girls to bed Liking: That we are back together tonight Wondering: Why it is so hard to get a job interview these days? Loving: That Mike surprised me by coming home early and in the afternoon! Hoping: The summer is kind of quiet and crime free round these parts Marvelling: At how brave my children have become at the beach Needing: A beach trip at least once a week, and hopefully with Tara and the girls! Smelling: Sunscreen and rain, mixed together Wearing: A bikini Following: Joy's new blog Noticing: That the grass isn't always greener and that the grass beneath my feet right now is kinda perfect Knowing: Everything is going to work out just fine Thinking: About how to grow the photo business just a little more Bookmarking: On Pintrest lately, and loving it Opening: A photo canvas of the girls that arrived today Giggling: At old episodes of The Office that I never saw before Feeling: Relaxed