Today was a Do-Nothing Day. At least that was what I was telling myself as I was putting Josie to bed, getting angrier and angrier at her irrational and exhausted behavior. Spiraling. We were both spiraling. She was only getting more tired by each passing second, and so, getting more unbalanced. Angry one moment, crying the next, agreeing with me suddenly, and then flinging herself into a full-star, holding it and wailing. Tired. Kid.
And I knew this. I know this. And I know getting angry at her is totally irrational too. She can't control herself. She is two and a half years old. I am 32. But I was tired too. And cranky. The day was hot; stifling, actually. And gray. And I told myself it was going to be an easy day, a Do-Nothing Day. No plans. No expectations. We were all going to just chill out, okay? Okay!?!?! (I know, judging by this blog, we look like we are always doing something. Truth is, we do "do a lot." But I also cherish days when we do very little. Pajamas and television all day, even on nice days ((gasp!)). Ice pops, popcorn and blueberries for dinner. Maybe also lunch. Maybe cookies for lunch instead. Doing nuthin. I/We are very good at that, too. I just don't often blog about it, because it's pretty unattractive and very private.) And so, I thought today was going to be one of those good Do-Nothing Days. I was, in fact, very wrong.
Jo was tired, cranky, and pissed. Me: The same. Why was she giving me such a hard time tonight? (Besides the obvious, but I wasn't looking for obvious tonight.) Didn't I:
- Take you and your sister to gymnastics class first thing this morning?
- Take you and your sister to Old Navy and bought you both new nightgowns and flip-flops?
- Take you and your sister to the Thrift Store and allow you both to get a new-to-you treat?
- Come home and let you watch television?
- Make you grilled cheese with bacon and soda and chocolate milk for lunch?
- Play playdough?
- Let you both watch more television?
- Clean up two pee accidents and one poop (on the rug)?
- Because I was caring for your sore behind from summer diapers and the beach, a la, airring it out?
- Run three loads of laundry due to all the accidents?
- Get you and your sister into dress-up?
- Download classical music so we could play ballet?
- And then spin around with you while dancing? Forever.
- Go outside?
- More TV?
- Make you and your sister chicken burgers, veggies and buttery pasta for dinner (washed down with the rest of your can of soda)?
This was a Do-Nothing Day? I think not. You had an awesome day for a little, little kid. Why are you gripping at me?
And during her gibberish, as I bear-wrestled her into a rocking chair to put her under for the day, she stopped thrashing. Her tired eyes rolling in her head, and Josie looked up at me with all sincerity and asked: What song did the little fairies sing to Dorothy Gale? (Josie is very into The Wizard of Oz right now, since seeing the play with my folks when we were in New York last.) And I knew the song, The Lullaby Guild. So I sang it to her. And then she mumbled, "What happens next, Mumma?" So I sang her Follow the Yellow Brick Road, and of course, I wasn't angry anymore. And of course she fell deep asleep.
Once downstairs, I still had my Bea, who was also on the sleep-deprived side of life. But then she started to ask me: What is a laser? What's the difference between a woodwind and a flute? Did you know Laila has a wood flute? That's what kids play. What do you wear to gymnastics? Did you notice that on TV June's earrings are blue, but on my doll they are pink? Some houses are made out of trees. All wood comes from trees. They cut down trees and chop and then they scrape down a piece and then they cut. And that's how they make wood. Oh, and then they paint the wood . . .Did you notice? Why is it called the Leaning Tower of Pisa?
And it still isn't time for Bea to go to bed yet . . .
*I didn't just jot this down for pity, I'm totally happy and smiling over all this now. This is the stuff I'm sure I'll forget, and I just need to put it somewhere so that a few memories like this really stick. Hope you enjoyed the ride.